First thing I must say when tipping your wedding professional team, please remember that it is not a mandatory expense. Gratuities should only be given to those wedding professionals who have gone above and beyond their contracted duties. Small business owners should never be overlooked since their businesses are often run by just one person. Before dishing out gratuity, double-check your contracts. Some professionals will include it in their contract, and I wouldn’t want you double tipping. Also, keep in mind that this is a guide. There really is no set number in what you should tip. You tip what you want, and trust me, any tip a vendor gets will be a surprise.
Lastly, a review is the BEST tip you can give any vendor. So if you cannot tip monetarily, PLEASE remember to at least leave them a glowing review.
THE MYTH ABOUT NOT TIPPING OWNERS
It is not uncommon to read articles that tell you that IF the individual providing the service is also the owner of the company, you do not technically need to tip them. Here is my take on that:
If you were to go out to eat, you would not tip the owner of the restaurant, right? But if the owner was also the person taking your order, making sure you’re taken care of, bringing your food and topping off your drinks, then you would absolutely give them a tip.
It’s my opinion that it works the same for your wedding pros.
If you are using a DJ who is subcontracted to work for a company, you would tip the DJ, not the owner. But if the owner was also the DJ working with you throughout the process AND their playing some killer tunes on your wedding day and keeping all of your guests on the dance floor all night long, then it’s a great idea to pass along a tip to them.
How Much: $50 if you’re married by a judge, clerk or officiant. Clergy members, in general, don’t accept tips, so instead, make a donation to the appropriate house of worship.
MAITRE D’ OR VENUE COORDINATOR
Sometimes referred to as a “Captain” or banquet manager. This tip may already be included in your total agreement with the catering company and/or venue. Be sure to check first.
How Much: $1 – $2 per guest
SERVERS & WAIT STAFF
Look this over carefully PRIOR to the wedding day to avoid double-tipping or forgetting to give them a tip. It may already be included in your caterer or venue contract. If it is not clear whether a tip is provided or how many staff members there will be, ask your contact with that company. Also, keep in mind that a “service charge” is often different than a tip.
How Much: $15-30 per staff member
BARTENDER
You may wish to have a “tip jar” out on the bar where your guests can choose to tip their bartenders. I’m not a huge fan of this, but it’s a personal preference. Just remember if you do not wish to have a tip jar out, that you should then take care of a tip for the bartenders on your guests’ behalf (if it’s not included in your contract). Inform the bartenders of your intent to tip after the reception, and request that they refuse tips from guests.
How Much: 10-15% of the total pre-tax bar bill, which should be split among the bartenders. OR $40-$75 per bartender
DJ & EMCEES
How Much: 10%-15% of the cost of services up to $150
HAIR STYLISTS, MAKE-UP ARTISTS & OTHER BEAUTY TECHNICIANS
How Much: 15-20% of the cost of services
DRIVERS FOR LIMOS, SHUTTLES, BUSSES, TROLLEYS, ETC.
The total tip amount depends on the extent to which they are driving you and/or your guests. Are they just making a few trips, or are they working all day?
How Much: If it is not included in the contract, $50-100 per driver
VALETS, COAT CHECK OR BATHROOM ATTENDANTS
Display a sign stating that gratuities have been taken care of. The staff should also be instructed to refuse any tips offered by guests.
These pros will often be spending the most time with you throughout the day and it’s important to appreciate their hard work and attention to detail. If they will be having any assistants, you can also extend an optional tip to them.
How Much: 5% – 10% of the cost of services – $25-$50+ per assistant, depending on their level of involvement
HOW YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR WEDDING TEAM THEIR TIPS
It’s most ideal to pass along your wedding vendor tips (and final payments if necessary) to your wedding planner/coordinator or to a trusted family member (like mom or dad). That way you won’t be worrying about getting it to them while you’re occupied with your big day. Make sure they are in sealed envelopes with the person’s name and/or role written on it so that there is no confusion.
This one topic right here only has one right answer, and that answer is the one that works best for you. I know, that’s not really an answer, but it’s 100% true. Look, as a wedding planner, I love when my couples rent their linens. In fact, it’s almost one of those things I want to require my couples to do. But I also know that not all budgets allow it and sometimes you HAVE to buy your linens. So let me show you the pros and cons of both options so that you can decide for yourself.
Saving money – let’s face it, buying your own linens is financially cheaper
You have the product in hand and know what you will be getting
Setting it up yourself will let you see everything laid out and know it is done how you want it done.
Many options to choose from because you can purchase from any company that sells linens.
Resell – once the wedding is over you can sell them to another couple getting married to recoup some of your money.
Cons:
Storage – they take up a lot of space, especially after you go through the list below.
Washing – every linen comes with a chemical on it that you HAVE to wash off before use. You can do it in your washer, about 3-4 linens per load or pay someone at anywhere between $5-15 per linen.
Ironing/Steaming – wrinkles, creases, you name it, you want them out as much as possible.
Transportation – you have to get them to the location, again, they take up A LOT of room. At the end of the night, they take up double the room as they are no longer folded.
Setting Up – you have to set the linens. This takes A LOT of time and it has to be done before anything else can be set.
Teardown – You have to tear down the linens at the end of a long night.
Washing (AGAIN) – After the wedding, you need to wash them again unless you plan on throwing them out. Again that is washing about 3-4 at a time or paying about $5-15 per linen to have them done.
Reselling – Finding someone that wants your linens isn’t as easy as it sounds. If they’re basic white, you have better odds. But if they are colored or patterned linen, it becomes harder and you sit on them for a lot longer. And not everyone needs the exact number you have, so you may have to split and sell in smaller sets and just hope that you sell them all.
Design help – almost all professionals that rent linens will help bring your look, feel and design together with their linens.
Other rentals – most companies that rent linens rent other items you may need for decor and so you can see it all put together and get it all from one place.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, ALL OF THE CONS ABOVE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH – AND TIME IS MONEY.
Cons:
Financially it costs more
Rising Ashes Designs L’Nique Linens
Julie Elizabeth Event Styling
Like I said before, I know that not everyone has the budget to rent linens, or finds that linens are not a priority in their wedding planning. And that’s ok. But if you are even debating between renting or buying your linens, I cannot stress it enough how much work is truly involved with linens. And as the wedding gets closer, your time will become more precious and you will not want to be dealing with all of your linens on your wedding day. So take it from a professional wedding planner, RENT!
Wedding planning is a series of interviews with professionals that will provide you with a service on your big day. But what do you need to be asking? For instance, you know you want pictures of your wedding, but how do you sift through the hundreds of available photographers in your area? I guarantee there are hundreds of them but I also guarantee there is one out there for you. Just like your perfect person, it may take time, but you will find them.
Before you even start interviewing them there are two things you MUST do. First, set your budget. Second, find the style that speaks to you.
But how do you set your budget without knowing what something costs? Join local wedding planning groups on platforms like Facebook and ask around in there. Keep in mind that the amount of time they’re needed for and their experience are just two things that will change the cost of a photographer. But it will at least get you a starting point. Another way is to reach out to photographers and get pricing. Some will charge a vastly different price, but you will see the middle ground on what’s average. Then once you have that information, take a step back and decide how much photography really means to you. That will at least give you a starting price to begin with.
As for style, scour the internet. Look at Pinterest and wedding blogs and websites. Look at everything and collect examples of images that warm your heart and you want for your wall. Then find photographers who have a similar style. Photography is an art form and although they are taking pictures that you want, they instill their artwork into each one. So search and find the one and then trust them to do their finest.
You have your budget and style, now what?
Now you start talking to them, in person. Set up consultations to meet them and see their full portfolio. Make sure you see at least one full portfolio of a wedding. I mean I can take some pretty shots, but if you saw the amount of photos I deleted to get there, you would know I am an amateur. Seeing a portfolio from an entire wedding shows you how they will capture the entire day and shows you what they are truly capable of. Posed shots are one thing, action shots are entirely different. And so it’s important to see them all.
As you sit down with them, come prepared with questions you want to ask. There will be some that are very specific to your needs. But as a good basis, here are some questions to keep in mind when you’re talking with them:
What does the package include and how much is it?
What happens if we need additional hours on wedding day?
Do you include engagement and/or bridal sessions in the package?
Will we receive digital files, or prints/albums?
Can we purchase additional files/prints and for how much?
How long will we wait to receive our photos after the wedding?
Have you worked at our venue before?
How many weddings have you done (and can we see samples of your work)?
An important thing to note is that you are not the only person they are talking to about your wedding date. So if you really like them, book them. Photographers are one of the first vendors to be booked by couples, so don’t miss out on the right one.
Also remember with that, that they’re interviewing you as well. They want to make sure (as any wedding professional will) that you and your dream day work with them, their personality and their style. So be prepared for interesting questions. I myself have a questionnaire that I send to my couples before we meet with questions about where they shop, and what they like to do for fun. It just one way to make sure that working together will be a fun experience for everyone involved.
Wedding planner, wedding coordinator….two very different and distinct jobs. Both performing tasks throughout your planning and wedding day to some scale. But what they are not doing is “day-of coordination”. I’m not a person to sugar coat things. As I was trying to think of a good title for this blog, andI couldn’t think of a better one. It’s plain and simple and the TRUTH. Day-of Coordination is a unicorn, it does not exist.
Now, of course, your thinking, but The Knot……Wedding Wire…..they can’t be wrong! Oh, but they are and here’s why. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can walk in on the day of your wedding and execute it to your vision. Even though there are coordinators that still call it “day-of coordination”, they are not only selling themselves short but they are doing more work than just one day’s worth.
First, let me talk on what a coordinator who offers this service generally does. They will meet with you at least once to go over everything. This meeting can last anywhere from one to four hours. Then when they get home they take their chicken scratch notes and formulate it into what they need to run the day. They are generally there for your rehearsal and then on the day itself they work between eight to twelve hours. That’s the basics. It does not include other services they might perform like reaching out to all of your vendors, which they should be doing. On average a true day-of coordinator works a MINIMUM of 16 hours for every wedding, but that’s honestly really low. It takes hours of behind the scenes work to make sure that things are going to run correctly, and so really I can’t even believe how someone could even perform “day-of coordination” with just the basics listed above. Which brings me to the change in the industry to Wedding Management.
What is Wedding Management?
Wedding Management is what I do, I manage your wedding starting two months before your big day. I help with all of the last minute details, create your timeline for the day and help with your floor plan. We have a minimum of two meetings that are between two and four hours each. I contact all of your vendors before the day to make sure that they have everything that they need. I review your contracts to make sure they are upheld on both ends, no one wants to breach a contract. I’m there for the rehearsal and between ten to twelve hours (with an assistant) on the wedding day. I spend on average of thirty-five hours on every one of my Wedding Management clients. That is the way it should be and it truly is what is necessary to make a wedding run flawlessly.
With all coordinators (be it ones who offer day-of or management), they offer something that no one else can. They are there by your side through it. They are a voice of reason and an advocate for you. Someone who will put out a fire before you even know what’s happening. Someone who will make sure that your wedding day is just how you want it to be without you even having to think about it. And that my friends is worth so much. You may not see it now, but on the day itself, you will be thankful you have a planner or coordinator by your side.
Lastly, those who still offer “day-of coordination” put in more time than that title gives them credit for. So please try to keep that in mind when you look at the pricing of a good coordinator and think they’re too expensive. What they do is so much more than just the day. And if you are one of those planners who still offer day-of coordination, reach out to me so we can chat. It’s time to take your business and your couples experience to the next level with Wedding Management.
So I have had many a chats with couples at places like a We Thee Wed wedding show, and they dismiss my services because they already have a venue coordinator at their venue. Now when I hear this two things happen. One, I kindly respond with my prepared speech what makes a wedding planner different. Something that I have told couples over and over again, which is basically this blog. Two, I secretly scream out in my head in frustration because both of our jobs are being sold as the same, be it by the venue coordinator themselves or someone else, and **spoiler alert** – THEY’RE NOT!
Now I must preface this blog with one thing…..I LOVE VENUE COORDINATORS!! They are amazing at what they do, they know their venue inside and out, they are a HUGE help to my couples and even to me. This blog is NOT to bash on what they do, but instead to share the differences between them and myself, a wedding planner.
So to keep it simple, let’s look at the key differences:
The Venue
Venue Coordinators are brought on with the renting of a venue. They are there for everything that specifically deals with the venue. The venue and it’s staff takes precedence. If they have tables, chairs, linens, tableware, etc. they will handle all of the above. If they handle the catering, they will focus on the kitchen staff as well.
Wedding Planners are brought on by a couple to help with their wedding no matter the venue. They are there for everything that deals with the couple. They will handle the items that your other wedding professionals were not hired for and even some that they were hired for. Their first priority is the couple.
Your Hired Wedding Professionals
Venue Coordinators can sometimes provide you with a list of preferred vendors for their venue and some may ask for a final list of your vendors before your wedding.
Wedding planners will provide a list of wedding professionals based on those they know will do a good job, are within your budget or align with your style. They will coordinate the arrival time and setup of all vendors before the wedding. Wedding planners review contracts to make sure everyone is protected. They will manage the wedding professionals making sure things are on time and that they have everything they need to get their job done and done well.
In general venue coordinators will ask what your timeline is with your DJ for the time you are at their venue and then they will make sure that correlates with what they need for their staffing.
Wedding planners will create a detailed timeline for you. They will work with your wants and needs and also the wedding professionals you hired to create a timeline for your ENTIRE day. From the moment you wake up, to lunch, to the ceremony time, to the first dance song to the grand exit, EVERYTHING will be timed out by your wedding planner. They also help keep everyone running on time throughout the entire day as well.
Availability
A venue coordinator works during the venues business hours and is split between every couple that is utilizing their venue. Let’s say they are booked for 40 weekends out of the year and only two days a weekend. That means 80 couples. If they have multiple rooms available to rent, like a hotel or banquet center, double that number. This doesn’t include luncheons or events that happen during the week.
A wedding planner does have business hours and most work within those business hours. But lets get real here, I don’t stick to my business hours. My couples work day jobs and generally do wedding planning after work. I do my best work after my child is in bed. So yes, I have business hours, and sometimes I enforce them for my sanity, but in general I am ALWAYS available. Depending on your wedding planner they will have a set number of couples they work with. The average I see is between 20-30 weddings A YEAR. Larger companies take on more, but me personally I take on between 6-12 weddings A YEAR. This means you get so much more personal attention from a wedding planner because they have the time to give it to you.
Look, is having a venue coordinator awesome? Yes! But please don’t dismiss having a wedding planner too. Both do entirely different jobs. Both have a place, working hand-in-hand together, in your wedding day.
P.S. A venue coordinator will also not have an emergency kit available to you, go dress shopping with you, fix a shoe, put on boutonnieres, sew a dress, get the right cake to your venue when the baker sends a horrible one, get flowers removed that don’t belong, find you an embroidery shop that can make a gift the night before the wedding….just to name a few things I have personally done. 😉
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