by Diana Warner | Feb 9, 2018 | Etiquette, Wedding Planning Tips
Communicating to your guests that you are having an adults only wedding is not so much about how the wedding invitation is worded, but more so how the actual invite is addressed.
First let’s talk about ways that you can include the information within your invitation. The more elaborate your wording the better. Most people know that a “luxury hotel” or “famous art museum” are not child friendly. That being said you can also place the words “adults only”, or something similar on the reception cards.
Please join us at an adults-only reception at…….
Children are welcome at the ceremony but the reception will be adults only.
The best when you feel you will get a lot of pushback is to place the blame on your venue choice:
Due to restrictions (or space, etc.) at the venue, children under the age of 16 will not be permitted.
One more way to get the information to your guests is to include it on your wedding website. That way it’s not on your invitations but the information is available for people to see. Also making sure your immediate family and wedding party are aware so that they can field those questions from guests as they come up.
Really the item you should be focusing on is the envelopes. When addressing your wedding invitations they should be addressed specifically to the people that are invited.
For instance: Mr. and Mrs. Mike Jones.
To back that up you can add special wording to your response cards:
We look forward to celebrating with you!
____Adults will attend
____Sorry to miss it
Or something that I always recommend to all of my couples to do, is to call out how many seats are reserved for each invitation:
We look forward to celebrating with you!
___Seats have been reserved in your honor
___Adults will attend
___Sorry to miss it
Then when you are assembling your wedding invitations you fill in the number of seats that are reserved.
The options I touched on above are the most common ways for people to make sure that their wedding day is for only their adult friends and family. They may not work for you, and that’s ok. There are quite a few other ways to address this situation and I highly suggest talking to your designer so that they can help direct you as to what would work best for you.
In the end, when you do everything you can on your wedding invitations, wedding website, and have had extensive conversations with parents that want to bring their kids. You may still have someone that shows up with their child in tow. It happened to me at my wedding, so I know how it goes. First thing, take a breath. It is not the end of the world, it will not ruin this special day. You picked an awesome caterer that is prepared with extra meals and you have nothing to worry about. Enjoy your wedding day!
ON A PERSONAL NOTE: As a wedding planner I have ran into the occasional couple that absolutely refuses to budge on the no children rule for their wedding day. I ask those people to take a look at a few things before they make a decision. One, is the person wanting to bring their child extremely important to you? If so, you need to be prepared for one of two things. One, you bend the rules and let them come. Two, they don’t come to the wedding. If you’re ok with them not attending the wedding then stick to your guns.
The other thing I ask them to look at is if this person is a new mother (aka under one year old). I implore you to bend the rules in this situation. As a new parent, it is EXTREMELY difficult for some to leave their child in the first year, even more so under 6 months, 100% so if the mother is nursing. A child under one will not need their own food and most parents are aware to remove their child if it is crying or causing a scene. If you’re that worried, you can have an usher take them to specific seats and explain it is for their convenience to be able to remove themselves to care for their child if necessary. That can get the point across very sweetly. OK, off my soapbox now. Thank you.
by Diana Warner | Jan 26, 2018 | Wedding Planning Tips
Wait a second, isn’t a personal assistant something that powerful CEOs have to help run their days? A person that only business owners need, I mean really. The answer is no. First lets take a second and be honest, wouldn’t you want a personal assistant to help you now in your every day life? I know I would. Add to that the normal stress load of a wedding planning and then the craziness that is the wedding day. That is prime time for a Personal Assistant.
I have a wedding party that will help me with everything I need. That’s great news, but let’s talk for a second. As a wedding planner I have had the experience of seeing a lot of wedding parties in action. Not to say they are all alike, but I tend to see a lot of wedding parties being more interested in themselves and having fun, then the couple they are standing for. Many times they’re busy getting themselves ready, or having a few too many drinks. More often then not it is just the wedding party not really knowing what they are supposed to do or what is happening throughout the day.
That’s where hiring a personal assistant for your wedding is such an added bonus. When you hire a personal assistant through Eventistry, you get someone that knows weddings in and out. More importantly, they know YOUR wedding. I handle the assignment of your assistant and give them all the information that they need for the day. The have a copy of your wedding timeline in hand. They know how to tie a corset and bustle a dress. The know that you’re not focused on eating or drinking, so they make sure you do. You want them to bring breakfast to you and your attendants? They can do that. They also come prepared with emergency snacks and drinks just in case there is nothing to be found nearby. They make sure you are running on time and that you don’t leave your emergency kit in the hotel room.
A lot of couples just hire a personal assistant for the morning, since that’s really the only time that I could potentially not be near you to help and answer questions. Plus your personal assistant is a direct line to me. They know how to communicate with me and they know the right questions to ask to get you the answers they don’t already have. Some couples find that they want a personal assistant throughout the entire day. As I am working with your vendors to keep things running, checking in on you to make sure you are comfortable, your personal assistant is right by your side for everything you need. They can keep track of your personal belongings and making sure they are packed in your get away car.
Now I should also mention that a personal assistant is an a la carte item that I offer to couples. What this means is that even if you don’t wish to use my wedding planning services, you could still utilize one of my assistants to get you through the day. Prices are based on distance and travel needed and the general scope of responsibilities that you need them to perform. So please let me know during your consultation if you are interested in having an assistant, or send me a message to get more information.
by Diana Warner | Jan 12, 2018 | Wedding Planning Tips
Wedding planning entails a lot of pieces and parts that are put together over a course of time. Things that are discussed in length before making a decision on. Things that are thought about over and over again. Here’s something that tends to fall to the wayside: the pieces and parts that are specifically needed on the day. I’m not talking about your flowers, or dessert or even your transportation. (Though sometimes that is overlooked as well.) No, I’m talking about the small things that couples will want to have on the big day, but won’t unless they pack an emergency kit. It doesn’t have to be very big, especially if you have hired me as your wedding planner. I bring my own very large rolling suitcase turned emergency kit. Within it I hold some tricks up my sleeve to help in all those moments of crisis. For instance, I have white chalk to remove stains from wedding dresses. Pluck that nugget if you will.
So here is a small list of items that I recommend couples pack in their emergency kit for their wedding day.
- Gum/breath mints
- Clear nail polish- for runners and touch ups
- Chapstick
- Bobby pins
- Safety pins
- Small first aid kit- bandaids at a minimum
- Nail file
- Tissues
- Q-tips- great for cleaning and mascara runs
- Hairspray
- Lotion
- Deodorant
- Hand sanitizer
- Fashion tape
- Tylenol/Advil/etc.
- Dental floss
- Granola bars (or protein filled snacks)
- Water, water and more water
- Suntan lotion (if outdoors)
- Bug spray (if outdoors)
- Mini bottle of favorite liquor – you know you want to.
by Diana Warner | Dec 6, 2017 | Real Couples
Cleveland Botanical Gardens and Manakiki Golf Course
Photos by: Laura Dempsy
When I first met with Lauren she said that she didn’t think she needed a wedding planner for the day. Then about 3 months before the wedding we were talking again and Lauren, her fiance and her family were starting to feel the stress of the little things all coming together. That’s where I came in. I was able to sit down with her and go through everything together, and really she had it all there it just needed to be organized. Then of course there were the few things she hadn’t even thought about, but hey, that’s what she hired a wedding planner for! On the day itself everything ran smoothly and was just exactly how they wanted it to all be.
Lauren looked stunning in her dress. It was just the right amount of bridal, so that it was a perfect wedding dress for her. Just look at how happy she was when she was smiling at her Father walking her down the aisle at the beautiful Cleveland Botanical Gardens.
Their reception was set at the Hanna Mansion on Manakiki Golf Course with touches of an art deco Gatsby theme. Gold sequin runners, candleabras and feathers all pieced together with great food, dancing and donuts. What more could you ask for?
One of the small touches that was added was the favors for their guests. Little bags of gummy bags that I was informed was the best type of gummy bear out there. Of course I was like, “Aren’t all gummy bears just gummy bears?”. No, they are not, and I was proved wrong that day.
The day ended with the arrival of the gorgeous old fashioned car (if I knew anything about cars I would tell you what it is, but alas I do not) for some portraits to fit their theme. And then a grand exit full of bubbles and cheers for the newlyweds.
This amazing wedding could not have been possible without the help of these amazing vendors:
Photography: Laura Dempsey Photography
Ceremony Venue: Cleveland Botanical Gardens
Reception Venue: Manakiki Golf Course
Catering: Dino’s Catering
Rentals: Julie Elizabeth Event Styling
Donuts: Biagio’s Donuts
Wedding Dress: CLE Bride
Flowers: Eco Flowers
by Diana Warner | Sep 27, 2017 | Etiquette, Wedding Planning Tips
So working with past clients I field a lot of questions on wedding etiquette. Who is supposed to pay for what? Where does this person stand? The thing I get asked about a lot is invitations. So for your reading pleasure, here is a very simple rundown of wedding invitation etiquette. These are questions that I have been asked personally or have known to been asked of invitation designers I have worked with. Of course, not everything is covered here, but if you wish to receive more help on your invitations, reach out to the designer or even myself. I love to help my clients go into meetings with designers with a game plan so that they run smoothly.
1) When do we send out our wedding invitations? I always recommend that your invitations go out 6-8 weeks before your wedding date. This gives people enough time to make travel arrangements and take time off work if necessary. If you are having a lot of out of town guests, make sure you do save-the-date cards and send them out 6-8 months in advance.
2) When should we set the RSVP deadline for? It is important to give yourself some time to reach out to those guests who do not RSVP, there are always some that don’t. So I recommend setting your RSVP date to be 3 weeks before your wedding date. That gives you a week to make phone calls and then be able to give final numbers and finish final details in the last two weeks.
3) Where should we put the information about our wedding website? You can include the web address in the formal invitations with a seperate insert, or added to an already created insert.
4) Where should we put the information about our registry? Your wedding website. To put it on your formal invitations is looked at as a big no-no. You also should make sure your bridal party and immediate family members know where you are registered because they may field that question. The registry information can go in your wedding shower invitations if you are having one.
5) How do you make it clear to our guests that the wedding is adults only (aka no kids)? There are a few ways you can head this off. First, make sure to address the invitations precisely, as in each persons name is written out on the envelope. On the RSVP card you can have “X seats have been reserved in your honor” and then write in the number of seats for each invitation. Lastly, make sure this information is written on your wedding website. In the end you may still have people adding their children. You should give them a call and let them know that it is an adults only reception and that you hope they can still join you.
6) How do we let guests know our dress code? Easiest way is to include the dress code on the lower right-hand corner of the invite or on an included insert. On top of that, the style of invitation will help your guests determine the type of event you are hosting. It you have a calligraphy artist address everything, that sets the tone for a more formal event. An invitation of a more fun nature will point to a more casual event. As always, this information can also be posted on your wedding website.
7) Do we have to give everyone a plus one? Nope. If someone is in a serious relationship then it is nice to extend the invitation to their partner, but make sure to address the invitation as such. Otherwise it is perfectly acceptable to only invite them. If for some reason they decide to add someone to their invitation, you should call them up and explain that either your venue only fits so many people, or that you are trying to keep it intimate and that you hope they can still join you.
8) Where should we write the return address on the envelope? It should be written on the back flap of the envelope. Make sure that the address used is the person that will be recording and updating your guest list. Make sure the RSVP envelope is addressed to the same person and that postage has been paid.
9) What information should be included on the invitation? In short: Who, What, Where and When. You can include a variety of other information like maps, menus, schedule of events,etc. But that is also information that you can put on your website and instead just have once simple insert with the address.
10) How do we word the invitation itself? Traditional wording where one set of parents are financially responsible:
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter/son
Sarah
To
Brian Smith
etc.
If you still wish to include the other set of parents on the invitation then in would be listed after the second persons name as such “son/daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith”. If both sets of parents are co-hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones
and
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Christopher Jones
and
Thomas Smith
etc.
If you don’t wish to list any parents:
Heather Renee Jones
and
Julie Laura Smith
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
etc.
In the end there are so many different ways to word your invitations. I can assist with this personally, or talk with your stationer as I am sure they have run into many different forms of weddings.
I hope that I have answered a few of your questions related to your wedding invitations. Remember that your invitation sets the mood and style of the wedding that you are having and so you need to make sure that not only is your event style but that your own style is reflected in them. Happy planning!
Special thank you for your invitation imagery (in order of appearance):
Adore Paper Co
Eventistry
Up & Away Designs
It’s All Personal
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