by Diana Warner | Feb 9, 2018 | Etiquette, Wedding Planning Tips
Communicating to your guests that you are having an adults only wedding is not so much about how the wedding invitation is worded, but more so how the actual invite is addressed.
First let’s talk about ways that you can include the information within your invitation. The more elaborate your wording the better. Most people know that a “luxury hotel” or “famous art museum” are not child friendly. That being said you can also place the words “adults only”, or something similar on the reception cards.
Please join us at an adults-only reception at…….
Children are welcome at the ceremony but the reception will be adults only.
The best when you feel you will get a lot of pushback is to place the blame on your venue choice:
Due to restrictions (or space, etc.) at the venue, children under the age of 16 will not be permitted.
One more way to get the information to your guests is to include it on your wedding website. That way it’s not on your invitations but the information is available for people to see. Also making sure your immediate family and wedding party are aware so that they can field those questions from guests as they come up.
Really the item you should be focusing on is the envelopes. When addressing your wedding invitations they should be addressed specifically to the people that are invited.
For instance: Mr. and Mrs. Mike Jones.
To back that up you can add special wording to your response cards:
We look forward to celebrating with you!
____Adults will attend
____Sorry to miss it
Or something that I always recommend to all of my couples to do, is to call out how many seats are reserved for each invitation:
We look forward to celebrating with you!
___Seats have been reserved in your honor
___Adults will attend
___Sorry to miss it
Then when you are assembling your wedding invitations you fill in the number of seats that are reserved.
The options I touched on above are the most common ways for people to make sure that their wedding day is for only their adult friends and family. They may not work for you, and that’s ok. There are quite a few other ways to address this situation and I highly suggest talking to your designer so that they can help direct you as to what would work best for you.
In the end, when you do everything you can on your wedding invitations, wedding website, and have had extensive conversations with parents that want to bring their kids. You may still have someone that shows up with their child in tow. It happened to me at my wedding, so I know how it goes. First thing, take a breath. It is not the end of the world, it will not ruin this special day. You picked an awesome caterer that is prepared with extra meals and you have nothing to worry about. Enjoy your wedding day!
ON A PERSONAL NOTE: As a wedding planner I have ran into the occasional couple that absolutely refuses to budge on the no children rule for their wedding day. I ask those people to take a look at a few things before they make a decision. One, is the person wanting to bring their child extremely important to you? If so, you need to be prepared for one of two things. One, you bend the rules and let them come. Two, they don’t come to the wedding. If you’re ok with them not attending the wedding then stick to your guns.
The other thing I ask them to look at is if this person is a new mother (aka under one year old). I implore you to bend the rules in this situation. As a new parent, it is EXTREMELY difficult for some to leave their child in the first year, even more so under 6 months, 100% so if the mother is nursing. A child under one will not need their own food and most parents are aware to remove their child if it is crying or causing a scene. If you’re that worried, you can have an usher take them to specific seats and explain it is for their convenience to be able to remove themselves to care for their child if necessary. That can get the point across very sweetly. OK, off my soapbox now. Thank you.
by Diana Warner | Jan 26, 2018 | Wedding Planning Tips
Wait a second, isn’t a personal assistant something that powerful CEOs have to help run their days? A person that only business owners need, I mean really. The answer is no. First lets take a second and be honest, wouldn’t you want a personal assistant to help you now in your every day life? I know I would. Add to that the normal stress load of a wedding planning and then the craziness that is the wedding day. That is prime time for a Personal Assistant.
I have a wedding party that will help me with everything I need. That’s great news, but let’s talk for a second. As a wedding planner I have had the experience of seeing a lot of wedding parties in action. Not to say they are all alike, but I tend to see a lot of wedding parties being more interested in themselves and having fun, then the couple they are standing for. Many times they’re busy getting themselves ready, or having a few too many drinks. More often then not it is just the wedding party not really knowing what they are supposed to do or what is happening throughout the day.
That’s where hiring a personal assistant for your wedding is such an added bonus. When you hire a personal assistant through Eventistry, you get someone that knows weddings in and out. More importantly, they know YOUR wedding. I handle the assignment of your assistant and give them all the information that they need for the day. The have a copy of your wedding timeline in hand. They know how to tie a corset and bustle a dress. The know that you’re not focused on eating or drinking, so they make sure you do. You want them to bring breakfast to you and your attendants? They can do that. They also come prepared with emergency snacks and drinks just in case there is nothing to be found nearby. They make sure you are running on time and that you don’t leave your emergency kit in the hotel room.
A lot of couples just hire a personal assistant for the morning, since that’s really the only time that I could potentially not be near you to help and answer questions. Plus your personal assistant is a direct line to me. They know how to communicate with me and they know the right questions to ask to get you the answers they don’t already have. Some couples find that they want a personal assistant throughout the entire day. As I am working with your vendors to keep things running, checking in on you to make sure you are comfortable, your personal assistant is right by your side for everything you need. They can keep track of your personal belongings and making sure they are packed in your get away car.
Now I should also mention that a personal assistant is an a la carte item that I offer to couples. What this means is that even if you don’t wish to use my wedding planning services, you could still utilize one of my assistants to get you through the day. Prices are based on distance and travel needed and the general scope of responsibilities that you need them to perform. So please let me know during your consultation if you are interested in having an assistant, or send me a message to get more information.
by Diana Warner | Jan 12, 2018 | Wedding Planning Tips
Wedding planning entails a lot of pieces and parts that are put together over a course of time. Things that are discussed in length before making a decision on. Things that are thought about over and over again. Here’s something that tends to fall to the wayside: the pieces and parts that are specifically needed on the day. I’m not talking about your flowers, or dessert or even your transportation. (Though sometimes that is overlooked as well.) No, I’m talking about the small things that couples will want to have on the big day, but won’t unless they pack an emergency kit. It doesn’t have to be very big, especially if you have hired me as your wedding planner. I bring my own very large rolling suitcase turned emergency kit. Within it I hold some tricks up my sleeve to help in all those moments of crisis. For instance, I have white chalk to remove stains from wedding dresses. Pluck that nugget if you will.
So here is a small list of items that I recommend couples pack in their emergency kit for their wedding day.
- Gum/breath mints
- Clear nail polish- for runners and touch ups
- Chapstick
- Bobby pins
- Safety pins
- Small first aid kit- bandaids at a minimum
- Nail file
- Tissues
- Q-tips- great for cleaning and mascara runs
- Hairspray
- Lotion
- Deodorant
- Hand sanitizer
- Fashion tape
- Tylenol/Advil/etc.
- Dental floss
- Granola bars (or protein filled snacks)
- Water, water and more water
- Suntan lotion (if outdoors)
- Bug spray (if outdoors)
- Mini bottle of favorite liquor – you know you want to.
by Diana Warner | Sep 27, 2017 | Etiquette, Wedding Planning Tips
So working with past clients I field a lot of questions on wedding etiquette. Who is supposed to pay for what? Where does this person stand? The thing I get asked about a lot is invitations. So for your reading pleasure, here is a very simple rundown of wedding invitation etiquette. These are questions that I have been asked personally or have known to been asked of invitation designers I have worked with. Of course, not everything is covered here, but if you wish to receive more help on your invitations, reach out to the designer or even myself. I love to help my clients go into meetings with designers with a game plan so that they run smoothly.
1) When do we send out our wedding invitations? I always recommend that your invitations go out 6-8 weeks before your wedding date. This gives people enough time to make travel arrangements and take time off work if necessary. If you are having a lot of out of town guests, make sure you do save-the-date cards and send them out 6-8 months in advance.
2) When should we set the RSVP deadline for? It is important to give yourself some time to reach out to those guests who do not RSVP, there are always some that don’t. So I recommend setting your RSVP date to be 3 weeks before your wedding date. That gives you a week to make phone calls and then be able to give final numbers and finish final details in the last two weeks.
3) Where should we put the information about our wedding website? You can include the web address in the formal invitations with a seperate insert, or added to an already created insert.
4) Where should we put the information about our registry? Your wedding website. To put it on your formal invitations is looked at as a big no-no. You also should make sure your bridal party and immediate family members know where you are registered because they may field that question. The registry information can go in your wedding shower invitations if you are having one.
5) How do you make it clear to our guests that the wedding is adults only (aka no kids)? There are a few ways you can head this off. First, make sure to address the invitations precisely, as in each persons name is written out on the envelope. On the RSVP card you can have “X seats have been reserved in your honor” and then write in the number of seats for each invitation. Lastly, make sure this information is written on your wedding website. In the end you may still have people adding their children. You should give them a call and let them know that it is an adults only reception and that you hope they can still join you.
6) How do we let guests know our dress code? Easiest way is to include the dress code on the lower right-hand corner of the invite or on an included insert. On top of that, the style of invitation will help your guests determine the type of event you are hosting. It you have a calligraphy artist address everything, that sets the tone for a more formal event. An invitation of a more fun nature will point to a more casual event. As always, this information can also be posted on your wedding website.
7) Do we have to give everyone a plus one? Nope. If someone is in a serious relationship then it is nice to extend the invitation to their partner, but make sure to address the invitation as such. Otherwise it is perfectly acceptable to only invite them. If for some reason they decide to add someone to their invitation, you should call them up and explain that either your venue only fits so many people, or that you are trying to keep it intimate and that you hope they can still join you.
8) Where should we write the return address on the envelope? It should be written on the back flap of the envelope. Make sure that the address used is the person that will be recording and updating your guest list. Make sure the RSVP envelope is addressed to the same person and that postage has been paid.
9) What information should be included on the invitation? In short: Who, What, Where and When. You can include a variety of other information like maps, menus, schedule of events,etc. But that is also information that you can put on your website and instead just have once simple insert with the address.
10) How do we word the invitation itself? Traditional wording where one set of parents are financially responsible:
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter/son
Sarah
To
Brian Smith
etc.
If you still wish to include the other set of parents on the invitation then in would be listed after the second persons name as such “son/daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith”. If both sets of parents are co-hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Jones
and
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Christopher Jones
and
Thomas Smith
etc.
If you don’t wish to list any parents:
Heather Renee Jones
and
Julie Laura Smith
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
etc.
In the end there are so many different ways to word your invitations. I can assist with this personally, or talk with your stationer as I am sure they have run into many different forms of weddings.
I hope that I have answered a few of your questions related to your wedding invitations. Remember that your invitation sets the mood and style of the wedding that you are having and so you need to make sure that not only is your event style but that your own style is reflected in them. Happy planning!
Special thank you for your invitation imagery (in order of appearance):
Adore Paper Co
Eventistry
Up & Away Designs
It’s All Personal
by Diana Warner | Aug 30, 2017 | Wedding Planning Tips
The wedding registry. To some couples it is the chance to create the ultimate wish list for their home, a way to begin planning their new life together. To others they feel they have everything or don’t like asking people for things. Or the last type of couple, they don’t want items, they just wish people would give them money (we’ll touch on this situation later and why its still a big no-no to ask for cash). But seriously, wedding registries can be really fun to create but they can also become stressful and overwhelming. So let’s talk about some tips on creating a wedding registry.
When should we start our registry? Traditionally you would create your registry before you announce your engagement. But frankly, that’s a lot of work to do when you’re bursting inside wanting to share the good news. So I recommend to my couples to make sure that it is completed before you have your engagement party, and if you are forgoing that, then make sure it is done before your wedding shower invitations go out.
Is there anything I should look for when choosing where to create my registry? First and foremost, make sure it is somewhere that actually carries things that you want, not just somewhere that will make Mom happy. Second, make sure their registry is user friendly. Nothing sucks more then having a registry that is hard to find or navigate because the system in place is complicated. Another thing to look for is if they have completion rewards. Some places give you a final coupon after your event for 10-20% off everything that is left on your registry that wasn’t purchased. So maybe the towels you’ve been dreaming about in your sleep were never gifted, but you just have to have them, well now just because you registered for them you can get them for 20% off.
How much do I need to register for? A lot more then you think. The thing is everyone that is invited to your shower will more then likely be bringing a gift. And if it is a lower priced item, then multiple gifts. Then you have people that won’t be able to attend the wedding but still want to send a gift. And then the people that actually bring a physical gift to the wedding. Do you work somewhere with friendly co-workers? They may throw you a party without you knowing it and you’ll have to have enough items on your registry for all of them. But it also goes back to the previous question when I mentioned the completion reward. Those coupons only work for items that you registered for before your event, so register for anything and everything you can think of so that even if it’s not purchased you can go back and buy it later at a discount.
But what if we have everything we already need in our home because we have lived together for a while now? My husband and I have been together 14 years, I was ecstatic when my mother bought me a new knife set for Christmas. Just because you have a lot of items already, doesn’t mean they couldn’t use an upgrade. Or that you couldn’t ask for a new tent to have for future camping trips. Or something that you are planning on buying for yourself, but could wait till after the wedding to get. You can always use new items or things to replace the old. It is a new chapter in your book together, it might as well start with new shiny things.
Seriously, I don’t want gifts, I just want cash. Seriously, no. I mean, I know, you’re putting a lot of money into your wedding and you’re hoping to not start your new life together in debt. I get it. But it is still UNACCEPTABLE to ask your guests for cash. Register for your honeymoon. Register for activities (see a few points down on registry options). Register for anything and everything that you will never use at a place with a wonderful return policy and get the money back. I don’t care, but do not ask your guests for cash, or let anyone know you returned everything or that I even mentioned it. In fact, forget I even said it. Go to Walmart and register for your groceries, just register. (Funny note, my husband and I registered for chips and salsa – totally worth it.)
OK fine I’ll make a registry, but do I have to do more then one? Yes. At a minimum I recommend you do two, and no more then four. But really two will do you just fine. The reason? Not everyone likes to shop at the same places. Not everyone can afford high end items and want more practically priced items so they prefer a different store. Give your guests options and they will not only buy you things but be more happy in the end. Make their shopping experience easy.
Make your registry practical and fun. Make sure that when you are choosing items to put on your registry, to pick things that you not only need, but items that you want too. I mean not everyone feels that they need zombie head cookie jar with removable brains, but if it’s something you really want then why not? (By the way it’s available at ThinkGeek). Make your registry practical, because you really do need dinner plates but also fun because who doesn’t want to drink their morning coffee out of a Back to the Future heat changing mug (also available HERE)?
Think outside the box. There are a lot of options out there for wedding registries. Not only those at brick and mortar stores, but a lot of options are now online. From Amazon registries to companies like ZOLA and My Registry. The nice thing about companies like ZOLA is that not only can you choose items but you can choose activities or honeymoon items. And My Registry takes every registry you create and puts it all together in one location. Let me touch back on brick and mortar stores, not only do people like to go and see and touch what they are buying, but a lot of people don’t feel comfortable or know how to purchase things online. Again, make everyone’s shopping experience easy.
Flatware. Check. Towels. Check. What else should I add? Storage items. You can never have enough storage items. Bins, baskets, totes, shelves, storage, storage, storage. As someone who is a big organizer I cannot recommend this enough. After all, where are you going to keep all of your new items?
So my registry is finished, now what? First, if you went to a brick and mortar store, go to their online store. Sometimes there are items that are only available online, but also keep in mind online exclusives or seasonal items may be out of stock if you create your registry very far in advance of your date. Lastly, tell your immediate family who can now spread the word to people they know. Make sure whoever is hosting your engagement party or shower knows where you are registered and give them any pertinent information like website or the handy-dandy cards you are sometimes given to put in invitations.
I just talked to my stationer and I keep being told I can’t put my registry on my invitations, why? Because it is another etiquette faux pas. Your registry information should be given to your guests in your engagement invitations or shower invitations. It can also be given by word of mouth through immediate family. It can also be listed on your wedding website. On a separate insert within your invitations you can add your wedding website, and that’s where people will find your registry.
I just received my first gift off my registry from someone who is not coming to my wedding. Can I open it? Yes. Open that sucker up and see what they sent! You want to make sure it is not broken or missing pieces as return policies differ for everything. And once you have checked it all out send them a thank you note now. That way they know you received it and enjoy it.
So there you have it. Just a few things to think about as you are creating your wedding registry. I hope that creating your registry turns out to be a simple process, as there are many other things to be working on when planning your wedding. Creating the registry should really be something fun you can do together.
Photo Credit: Blask Media
by Diana Warner | Apr 25, 2017 | Wedding Planning Tips
This is the first post of many in a new series of blogs I will be writing. Each blog will contain tips for planning your wedding, and each will be based on a certain topic: venue hunting, making your budget or general decor decisions. Just to name a few that I have floating in my head. I hope that you find this new series beneficial to your wedding planning needs and that it can help guide you in some way.
So let’s start it off at the beginning. You just got engaged, so what do you do? Well of course celebrate, but I mean after that.
Topics to discuss with each other before you begin planning your wedding.
1). What do you see on your wedding day? Talk about the overall vision you have in your head for your wedding day. You should both be represented in your wedding. You should both have ownership of what your guests will experience. It may be something you’ve seen at another wedding, something you’ve envisioned since you were little or a fun, quirky idea that you think would set your wedding apart from every other wedding you’ve been to.
2). What is important to have happen that day? What are some things that are important to the both of you to have for your wedding day. A certain flower in your arrangements or a special meal to be served. These are your priorities for the wedding day and it will help you to know what you need to budget for. Not only are these things important to you both, but they also tend to be those things that really connect your guests to you on your wedding day.
3). When would you like to get married? A lot of couples have a date or season that is very important to them and so it’s easy to pick a wedding date. But you also need to stay flexible in your wedding planning. Sometimes the venue you want isn’t available and so you’ll have to adjust your date. Also holidays and weekends are appealing to a lot of couples planning their wedding because it’s easy for out of town guests to fly in. But also keep in mind that there are certain holidays where people want to stay home. Also, the discounts people say you get aren’t always true and sometimes holiday weddings are harder to plan because either everyone has picked that date or no one wants to work it. Also keep in mind the length of time you will have for wedding planning. The more time you have, the easier it will be on you.
4). Who must you invite? Maybe you want a small intimate wedding or maybe you have 13 cousins and their family that you just have to invite. Talk about who needs to be invited and who would be a bonus. Make a preliminary guest list now. It will set the stage for your budget and venues for your wedding day.
5). What do you want to spend? Are you paying for everything yourselves or are family members contributing? What can you honestly afford to spend? This is a great time to start doing some research on what a wedding actually costs. Some people are very surprised when they start to see those numbers. Talk to some recently married couples or join some local social media groups and see what people from your area are spending.
Wedding planning can be overwhelming at times, so take the time to plan it well. The more organized you are from the beginning the easier your wedding planning will be over time. And if you want the extra help, then contact me for a consultation and I will help with your wedding planning needs to make your day just perfect.
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