Wedding planning is a series of interviews with professionals that will provide you with a service on your big day. But what do you need to be asking? For instance, you know you want pictures of your wedding, but how do you sift through the hundreds of available photographers in your area? I guarantee there are hundreds of them but I also guarantee there is one out there for you. Just like your perfect person, it may take time, but you will find them.
Before you even start interviewing them there are two things you MUST do. First, set your budget. Second, find the style that speaks to you.
But how do you set your budget without knowing what something costs? Join local wedding planning groups on platforms like Facebook and ask around in there. Keep in mind that the amount of time they’re needed for and their experience are just two things that will change the cost of a photographer. But it will at least get you a starting point. Another way is to reach out to photographers and get pricing. Some will charge a vastly different price, but you will see the middle ground on what’s average. Then once you have that information, take a step back and decide how much photography really means to you. That will at least give you a starting price to begin with.
As for style, scour the internet. Look at Pinterest and wedding blogs and websites. Look at everything and collect examples of images that warm your heart and you want for your wall. Then find photographers who have a similar style. Photography is an art form and although they are taking pictures that you want, they instill their artwork into each one. So search and find the one and then trust them to do their finest.
You have your budget and style, now what?
Now you start talking to them, in person. Set up consultations to meet them and see their full portfolio. Make sure you see at least one full portfolio of a wedding. I mean I can take some pretty shots, but if you saw the amount of photos I deleted to get there, you would know I am an amateur. Seeing a portfolio from an entire wedding shows you how they will capture the entire day and shows you what they are truly capable of. Posed shots are one thing, action shots are entirely different. And so it’s important to see them all.
As you sit down with them, come prepared with questions you want to ask. There will be some that are very specific to your needs. But as a good basis, here are some questions to keep in mind when you’re talking with them:
What does the package include and how much is it?
What happens if we need additional hours on wedding day?
Do you include engagement and/or bridal sessions in the package?
Will we receive digital files, or prints/albums?
Can we purchase additional files/prints and for how much?
How long will we wait to receive our photos after the wedding?
Have you worked at our venue before?
How many weddings have you done (and can we see samples of your work)?
An important thing to note is that you are not the only person they are talking to about your wedding date. So if you really like them, book them. Photographers are one of the first vendors to be booked by couples, so don’t miss out on the right one.
Also remember with that, that they’re interviewing you as well. They want to make sure (as any wedding professional will) that you and your dream day work with them, their personality and their style. So be prepared for interesting questions. I myself have a questionnaire that I send to my couples before we meet with questions about where they shop, and what they like to do for fun. It just one way to make sure that working together will be a fun experience for everyone involved.
Wedding planner, wedding coordinator….two very different and distinct jobs. Both performing tasks throughout your planning and wedding day to some scale. But what they are not doing is “day-of coordination”. I’m not a person to sugar coat things. As I was trying to think of a good title for this blog, andI couldn’t think of a better one. It’s plain and simple and the TRUTH. Day-of Coordination is a unicorn, it does not exist.
Now, of course, your thinking, but The Knot……Wedding Wire…..they can’t be wrong! Oh, but they are and here’s why. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can walk in on the day of your wedding and execute it to your vision. Even though there are coordinators that still call it “day-of coordination”, they are not only selling themselves short but they are doing more work than just one day’s worth.
First, let me talk on what a coordinator who offers this service generally does. They will meet with you at least once to go over everything. This meeting can last anywhere from one to four hours. Then when they get home they take their chicken scratch notes and formulate it into what they need to run the day. They are generally there for your rehearsal and then on the day itself they work between eight to twelve hours. That’s the basics. It does not include other services they might perform like reaching out to all of your vendors, which they should be doing. On average a true day-of coordinator works a MINIMUM of 16 hours for every wedding, but that’s honestly really low. It takes hours of behind the scenes work to make sure that things are going to run correctly, and so really I can’t even believe how someone could even perform “day-of coordination” with just the basics listed above. Which brings me to the change in the industry to Wedding Management.
What is Wedding Management?
Wedding Management is what I do, I manage your wedding starting two months before your big day. I help with all of the last minute details, create your timeline for the day and help with your floor plan. We have a minimum of two meetings that are between two and four hours each. I contact all of your vendors before the day to make sure that they have everything that they need. I review your contracts to make sure they are upheld on both ends, no one wants to breach a contract. I’m there for the rehearsal and between ten to twelve hours (with an assistant) on the wedding day. I spend on average of thirty-five hours on every one of my Wedding Management clients. That is the way it should be and it truly is what is necessary to make a wedding run flawlessly.
With all coordinators (be it ones who offer day-of or management), they offer something that no one else can. They are there by your side through it. They are a voice of reason and an advocate for you. Someone who will put out a fire before you even know what’s happening. Someone who will make sure that your wedding day is just how you want it to be without you even having to think about it. And that my friends is worth so much. You may not see it now, but on the day itself, you will be thankful you have a planner or coordinator by your side.
Lastly, those who still offer “day-of coordination” put in more time than that title gives them credit for. So please try to keep that in mind when you look at the pricing of a good coordinator and think they’re too expensive. What they do is so much more than just the day. And if you are one of those planners who still offer day-of coordination, reach out to me so we can chat. It’s time to take your business and your couples experience to the next level with Wedding Management.
So I have had many a chats with couples at places like a We Thee Wed wedding show, and they dismiss my services because they already have a venue coordinator at their venue. Now when I hear this two things happen. One, I kindly respond with my prepared speech what makes a wedding planner different. Something that I have told couples over and over again, which is basically this blog. Two, I secretly scream out in my head in frustration because both of our jobs are being sold as the same, be it by the venue coordinator themselves or someone else, and **spoiler alert** – THEY’RE NOT!
Now I must preface this blog with one thing…..I LOVE VENUE COORDINATORS!! They are amazing at what they do, they know their venue inside and out, they are a HUGE help to my couples and even to me. This blog is NOT to bash on what they do, but instead to share the differences between them and myself, a wedding planner.
So to keep it simple, let’s look at the key differences:
The Venue
Venue Coordinators are brought on with the renting of a venue. They are there for everything that specifically deals with the venue. The venue and it’s staff takes precedence. If they have tables, chairs, linens, tableware, etc. they will handle all of the above. If they handle the catering, they will focus on the kitchen staff as well.
Wedding Planners are brought on by a couple to help with their wedding no matter the venue. They are there for everything that deals with the couple. They will handle the items that your other wedding professionals were not hired for and even some that they were hired for. Their first priority is the couple.
Your Hired Wedding Professionals
Venue Coordinators can sometimes provide you with a list of preferred vendors for their venue and some may ask for a final list of your vendors before your wedding.
Wedding planners will provide a list of wedding professionals based on those they know will do a good job, are within your budget or align with your style. They will coordinate the arrival time and setup of all vendors before the wedding. Wedding planners review contracts to make sure everyone is protected. They will manage the wedding professionals making sure things are on time and that they have everything they need to get their job done and done well.
In general venue coordinators will ask what your timeline is with your DJ for the time you are at their venue and then they will make sure that correlates with what they need for their staffing.
Wedding planners will create a detailed timeline for you. They will work with your wants and needs and also the wedding professionals you hired to create a timeline for your ENTIRE day. From the moment you wake up, to lunch, to the ceremony time, to the first dance song to the grand exit, EVERYTHING will be timed out by your wedding planner. They also help keep everyone running on time throughout the entire day as well.
Availability
A venue coordinator works during the venues business hours and is split between every couple that is utilizing their venue. Let’s say they are booked for 40 weekends out of the year and only two days a weekend. That means 80 couples. If they have multiple rooms available to rent, like a hotel or banquet center, double that number. This doesn’t include luncheons or events that happen during the week.
A wedding planner does have business hours and most work within those business hours. But lets get real here, I don’t stick to my business hours. My couples work day jobs and generally do wedding planning after work. I do my best work after my child is in bed. So yes, I have business hours, and sometimes I enforce them for my sanity, but in general I am ALWAYS available. Depending on your wedding planner they will have a set number of couples they work with. The average I see is between 20-30 weddings A YEAR. Larger companies take on more, but me personally I take on between 6-12 weddings A YEAR. This means you get so much more personal attention from a wedding planner because they have the time to give it to you.
Look, is having a venue coordinator awesome? Yes! But please don’t dismiss having a wedding planner too. Both do entirely different jobs. Both have a place, working hand-in-hand together, in your wedding day.
P.S. A venue coordinator will also not have an emergency kit available to you, go dress shopping with you, fix a shoe, put on boutonnieres, sew a dress, get the right cake to your venue when the baker sends a horrible one, get flowers removed that don’t belong, find you an embroidery shop that can make a gift the night before the wedding….just to name a few things I have personally done. 😉
So the big day is getting closer and you forgot to purchase gifts for those amazing people you asked to be in your wedding party. (Or your first cousin once removed that you were forced into having stand with you.) Or maybe your on trend and are putting together “Bridesmaid/Groomsmen Proposal Boxes”. Yes, that is a thing. It’s pretty simple, a box of fun items given to the people you wish to be in your wedding party with a card or sign saying something like “Will you be my bridesmaid?”. No matter where you are in this process, you need gifts for your people. You want them stylish, affordable and possibly personalized. More importantly, purchase them something they can use again and again so as not to waste your money on something to collect dust.
Enter Bridesmaid Gifts Boutique or Groovy Guy Gifts – specialty shops that carry unique items for everyone in your wedding party. Now of course I wanted to try something out to make sure the gifts were quality, so I opted for a personalized wine tumbler.
Frankly, it’s CUTE! I have yet to use it for it’s intended purpose of wine, and instead have used it for water, but it keeps it cold and I feel special drinking it. LOL. But when I was looking at all of their options there was something that stood out to me.
When people buy gifts, who does the shopping? Nine times out of ten it is a woman. We tend to know people better, pay attention to peoples likes better and buy better gifts. Now I’m not saying that men are not capable of buying nice gifts, because they are and I try to remind my husband of that every anniversary. But generally women are able to buy gifts easily and it’s easy to buy for women too. But guys, they’re not always the easiest to buy for. You want something they will like, utilize and is quality.
For instance, a personalized cooler. Fill it with his favorite beer or liquor and now he has a cooler for his drinks on your party bus, but can reuse it in the future. Which means it’s not something that gets thrown away or put in the back of a closet.
If you’re having a more formal event, this is really nice. Not only is the box personalized, but so is each item inside. And these are also items that they can use again in the future in every day life, or for future events they will attend.
And this one I just want to throw in because my husband would purchase this for his friends. A personalized axe. I mean we live in an area where an axe is not a necessary tool in your garage, but could come in handy in a zombie apocalypse. Which is why my husband would purchase it. Is it practical, not really, but it is something that screams my husband and his friends, so in that instance it makes sense.
So keep them simple and fun, practical (mostly) and really choose something that you want them to have, not something that you feel you have to buy because it’s tradition. Giving a gift to these special people in your life is a wonderful thank you and really should be something that you want to watch them open.
Something I have seen time and time again on local boards for wedding planning are questions about RSVP’s. Now I’ve already written a blog about invitation etiquette, and I lightly touched on RSVP’s, so if you just want an overview you can skip to that blog now. Within this one I am going to go into much more detail on just your RSVP card and the process of collecting that information.
RSVP Card Basics
Let’s start with the basics of your RSVP card by taking about the type of card. Yes there are types, as in a postcard, online or one you put in an envelope.
Online
PROS: Very easy and quick for people to do, and generally leads to more RSVP’s actually coming in.
CONS: Not everyone is technologically savvy and it can turn them off.
Postcards
PROS: Cheaper for return mail as you can get postcard stamps.
CONS: Rarely, but can get damaged more without an envelope to protect it.
Enveloped
PROS: Traditional and what people expect.
CONS: Postage can add up.
In the end I recommend at least doing one paper form of RSVP as well as offering an online one if you can. The reason I do not say to only offer online, is because you still have people that are not capable of doing it. Be kind and just send them a paper one too. Also, don’t forget that you still need to put a stamp on it. You ALWAYS put a stamp on the RSVP card. Otherwise, you are making it hard on your guests and you will have so many more that do not RSVP that you will have to reach out to (more on that later). The bonus my clients have with me is my online planning portal. My clients can send for a online RSVP request and then it automatically updates their guest list and seating chart. Boo-yah. Talk about efficiency and organization.
What should I put on the card?
Now let’s look at what should be put on your RSVP cards. The very top should have something written about the RSVP due date.
This date is EXTREMELY important. I always recommend to my clients that they set the date to be one week before final numbers are due. Traditionally they need numbers about 1-2 weeks before the event, so set your RSVP to three weeks before. WHY? So now you have a week to reach out to everyone who has not RSVP’d yet. And there will be MANY unfortunately, as that seems to be the norm now.
And YES you need to reach out to every single one who has not RSVP’d by the deadline. You do not want to have to guess and provide more seats and food “just in case”. Call them, text them, email them…..whatever you normally do to communicate with these people. And if they don’t get back to you, set another deadline. “If I don’t hear back from you by Friday, I will mark you down as not attending.” I am more than willing to help make phone calls to guests for my couples because getting a call from a wedding planner is different than from a friend. I always get the answer I need very quickly because of my position in the entire event.
What is that weird “M” line for?
The next line seems illusive to some people.
That line is for people to fill in their names aka “Mr John & Wilma Smith”. Now, traditionally it is for the guest to fill in, so you leave it blank but there is two things I will say here.
One, if you want to write in your guests names then do it. Tradition has flown so far out the window on things, that it really doesn’t matter anymore.
Two, if you do not write in their names you need to number your RSVP cards. For some reason there are people cannot grasp the concept of putting their names on things and send it back blank. Then instead of not knowing who it belongs to, you can look at the number and compare it to your guest list. I recommend either hiding the number in a dark spot on your card or buying UV pens and a blacklight flashlight. It just makes it look better to not see a hand written number on your card. If you can’t do either of the above, just number the cards and Miss Manners will look the other way, I promise.
The most important part of your RSVP card
Next on the card there is some version of the actual RSVP and an added line I ALWAYS recommend adding.
First for the actual RSVP it can be done very simply, or creatively, as long as both you and the guest understand which is a “yes” and which is a “no”. The added line is something like the following, “___ of ___ guests will be attending” or “___ seats have been reserved in your honor”. The point of this added line is to stop people from thinking they can just bring whoever they want. You have a set amount of people for that RSVP, AND YOU MUST FILL IN THE NUMBER OR ELSE IT IS TOTALLY POINTLESS. Now it doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while you get rude and inconsiderate person who crosses off the number and adds in their own. No, you cannot uninvite them as much as you and I wish you could. You do need to contact them and let them know that they will not be getting three seats instead of two. Then they have the choice of declining now or not. Stick to your guns and always blame the venue size for legal reasons that you can only have so many guests.
Don’t forget the food!
Lastly, if you are doing family style or buffet, then your card is done. But if you have meal choices for your guests to pick, then you also need to include that on your card.
Pretty simply leave a line with your meal options and the phrase “Please Initial Your Meal Choice Below”. Now sometimes you will get people putting in numbers or an “X” instead of initials. You can call those people and get a definitive answer if you want. Or you can keep in mind that they are family and if one ordered fish and the other beef, they can switch plates if they get the wrong one.
In the end, contacting them with your questions is best
You can follow all of the above and you will still end up with questions unanswered when you get your cards back. If you need more information or someone has not RSVP’d yet, CONTACT THEM ASAP. Don’t leave anything to chance. The goal in this is to do everything you can to make RSVP-ing easy for your guest and yourself and in the end have the least amount of headaches possible.
As a bonus, some people like to add fun things to their RSVP cards, like song requests. That is absolutely something you can add to your RSVP card at the bottom. And if someone requests the Macarena, kindly forget to put that on your DJs list for me. Thanks.
So as a wedding planner, I get asked a lot of questions and this is one that I have seen asked again and again on local wedding boards. I’m very honest with my couples, so let me be honest with you. This should be a no-brainer. Your vendors are working hard for you all day. Would you want to go without a meal while working?
My boss doesn’t pay for my meals, why should I pay for theirs?
You are correct! Your boss doesn’t pay for your meals, instead you get 30-60 minutes to go and get your own meal to eat. So when would you like me to dismiss the DJ and photographer? I’m sure you won’t miss the music or holding up your dances till they get back.
Seriously, vendors are human too and they want to eat. It’s often time even written in their contracts that you must provide a warm meal and a place for them to sit. So that’s my first piece of advice, check your contracts and see what it says.
My second piece of advice is to talk to your caterer and see if they offer “vendor meals”. Sometimes they can give nice pasta instead of the filets you are serving, and this is acceptable! Some give a discount on vendor meals to be nice to you for serving your vendors. If anything, giving them the cheapest option of the meals you are serving your guests is completely acceptable!
My caterer doesn’t give a discount but said they can make boxed lunches for the vendors.
OK, while yes this is food, and yes it is at least something, it is not a nice thing to do to your vendors. Boxed lunches are generally made well before other things have been made. Now you are serving stale bread with turkey, cheese and potato salad. Maybe a bag of chips. If your caterer only offers this or your full priced meal, then pay full price. All this will do is aggravate your vendors and they will not work as hard for you as the night wears on.
Your wedding photographer is probably working 10-12 hours to capture your day. Your DJ shows up well in advance of your cocktail hour for setup and doesn’t leave until about an hour after the shindig is over.
As a wedding planner, I can tell you that I am the first in and last out. I work on average of 12 hours on the day, sometimes more. I usually have a great breakfast because I know I am not going to eat until dinner. When I remember I get to shove a granola bar down my throat with a bottle of water sometime between 12-4pm. It is exhausting to work weddings and it takes a lot out of you. Being given a nice warm meal with a table to sit at makes you feel appreciated and will help keep you going for the last 5 hours or more.
Wait, should I put them at a table with my guest? How does that work?
This can vary per wedding. The best thing you can do is to have a table at the back of the room specifically for your vendors. No decor needed, so don’t worry about the extra money on that. If you can’t put them in the room, then they need somewhere close enough to know what’s going on.
I always recommend sitting the photographer at a guest table if this is the situation because then at least they are still in the room to capture anything that may happen. Some DJs like to eat at their booth, some like to step away. I personally don’t care where I sit as long as I have a seat. I tend to take a few bites and then go back into the main room to make sure things are going well. When I am in wedding planner mode, I tend to not stay away for long, it’s just not in my nature. Again, check your contracts, it’s probably written in there. It’s not? Then ask your vendors!!
So who all do I need to feed then?
In short, anyone that is working your wedding through dinner.
The long list:
Wedding Planner & Assistants
DJ
Photographer
Videographer
Any other vendors that will be there through dinner, that are not attached to your caterer. The caterer generally feeds its own staff if they need to be fed.
When in doubt, ask your vendor. It’s just the nice thing to do.
And speaking of food, let’s talk about lunch. You’re going to a salon and will be eating lunch afterwards, great. You’re having someone come to you for wedding day hair and makeup, and will be eating lunch where you are at? Offer them food. Keep your vendors happy and they will go above and beyond for you.
I don’t want my vendors to miss anything, when should they eat?
When you do. If the food being served is in a buffet line, as the wedding planner, I will make sure you and your party are taken care of and then I will send the vendors right behind. Depending on the time, I may send VIP family first. If your dinner is being plated, your caterer should know where the vendors will be eating and have the food to them right after you get yours. Seeing a pattern here?
This is really important because your vendors need to be ready to move as soon as you are. And shoveling food into their face just to get something down because they were only given 10 minutes to eat, is not an ideal thing. As the wedding planner, I know that I need to be available at all times, hence why I have an assistant. This is for many reasons, but one of those reasons is so that my assistant can eat while I watch the floor. Then when she is done I go eat. Sometimes I don’t eat until after all the events have happened and the dance floor is open. Everything gets planned and scheduled and worked out before the wedding day so that everyone is fed a proper meal that night.
You want to add a cherry on top of the awesome meal you just served? Make sure to offer your vendors cake during the night or have some boxed for them to take home. It takes a bit to unwind after a wedding, so a late night snack is always something that is appreciated!
[vc_empty_space height="6px"]