When planning your wedding the music you choose for your first dance can be a daunting task. It must be just perfect and reflect you as a couple, not to fast and not too slow. Something you both like and can dance to. Maybe something that’s not too long for those who don’t like to dance in front of others. There’s a lot that can be taken into account when picking.
My first recommendation is to look at songs that are meaningful to both of you. Something you may have danced to before or maybe something you sing together. A song that comes on the shuffle and it always makes you think of each other.
If all else fails you can find many examples of songs to pick from with a simple Google search. The problem with that is, although you may think Christina Perri or Ed Sheeran are amazing picks with the most beautiful songs, so does everyone else getting married.
To help with that, here are some songs that I pulled together that are not overplayed every weekend. Some are songs that I love and knew I wanted to share. Some I just happened to find and thought were perfect.
Top 10 Picks for First Songs
I Get to Love You by Ruelle – This is by far one of my most favorite first dance songs and not many people have found it yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1mkYWkoXyo
Beyond by Leon Bridges – A song from a man to a woman explaining why she is so important to him and hoping that she will be their everything. It has a simple beat and easy to sway to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELPOCJvDz3w
Lover (First Dance Remix) by Taylor Swift – Remixed specifically for first dances and just recently released. Will this be the song of the 2020 wedding season? Beautiful, enchanting and completely meaningful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmT4Y8w1nho
You’re My Best Friend by The Once – As a big fan of Queen I love the original, but this is such a beautiful cover that it cannot be overlooked.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8aUHv0Newo
Speechless by Dan & Shay – By the video itself you can see that it was made for weddings, but you must listen to truly see why it can truly be perfect for your first dance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UoP9ABJXGE
I Choose You by Ryann Darling – Your Mine and all the reasons why. So simple and elegant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXN-m49MHO0
I Choose You by Sara Bareilles – I little more upbeat than a traditional first dance song, but not everyone wants slow. It’s still easy to sway together or choreograph a dance to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjE5D9cHiOk
Forever Starts Today by Tim Halperin – Piano lead with beautiful vocals talking about this moment and how it begins your forever together. Very heartwarming and makes my heart smile.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljLCAsnTzEo
Come What May by Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor – Starts soft and romantic and grows into something epic. A beautiful song just waiting for some special choreography to make it come to life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YsMvzgeSuI
Love Someone by Lukas Graham – You’ve probably heard this song on the radio at some point. It’s simple and true and with a good beat to dance together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN44xpHjNxE
Bonus First Dance Song
Be My Forever by Christina Perri (feat. Ed Sheeran) – I know I said that these two are overplayed at weddings. But this song that they did together is not only catchy and a little upbeat, but I have yet to hear it used for a dance. So if your up for a little faster paced first dance, this one might be for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awMQlSqI564
Our First Dance Song
I thought as a fun tidbit I would share my husband and my first dance song. He hates the spotlight, so we wanted short. There were many options we discussed, but this movie is a favorite of mine and we always talk about growing old together. So it was just perfect.
Gone are the days of the black tuxedo, boutonniere, and shiny black shoes. Now it’s so easy to add a piece of your personality to what you wear on your wedding day. From the color of your jacket to your tie (or bowtie for that matter) to even the socks that only get seen in the pictures.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good boutonniere when placed correctly and made the right size. But I find that those who opt to ditch it for a pocket square look much more polished. A simple piece of fabric that can really elevate a look. It can spice up the most basic of jackets, match a color scheme, create a subtle addition to your outfit or make a bold statement. It all comes down to the color, pattern and most importantly, the fold.
The easiest fold is The Puff fold. Lay the square flat, pinch it in the center and pull up while twisting. It creates something that reminds me of a ghost at Halloween. Keep a hold of the top and put the seams into your pocket. Simple as that. No matter what fold you choose, make sure to practice it before the wedding day. That way when you are all getting ready you aren’t scrambling to figure out how to fold it.
Along with a good fold comes the fabric. Thicker fabrics are great for a crisp edge, especially if folded and pressed in advance. But they can sometimes be bulky and stick out funny in your pocket. Lighter fabrics can make for a more elegant feel and easy for finer detail folds, but if they are too small they can easily slide down into your pocket and disappear during photos. Always keep an eye on where your pocket square is.
When it comes to choosing the color and/or pattern of your pocket square, it may be easy to just grab a coordinating pack of the shelf. But if you want to have a modern look try a patterned pocket square and then pick one color from the palette and match your tie (or bowtie) to that.
A well-cut suit or jacket certainly makes a strong statement, but to really stand out, it’s your accessories that really make all the difference. For even more inspiration on pocket square folds, take a look at this guide on Ties.com.
It’s no lie that the majority of wedding guests are very much looking forward to enjoying a drink at your wedding reception. And alcohol, being the great social lubricator that it is, often helps to get the party going. But along with having a good time, it’s important to encourage moderation with consumption to ensure safety as well as a good time.
I’m sure you can look at your guest list and point out those who might think that drinking is an Olympic sport, so it’s important to have a game plan in place to eliminate issues long before they arise. When you implement certain things that we will talk about below, it can also help you keep the cost in check too.
Limit the Selection
Rather than offering a full bar, opt for a couple of basic beer and wine choices and consider also offering one or two signature cocktails. If you want to have hard liquor then opt for well options instead of top-shelf. Or keep the top shelf and only pick a couple of options. You can make a lot of drinks with Vodka and Whiskey with a few mixers.
Keep the Good Stuff Behind the Bar
Maybe you or a VIP like something special (or expensive)? You don’t have to give that up on your big day. Instead, have a special bottle in the back for that person and don’t supply the whole guest list with it.
No Shots
Let’s get real, shots tend to be the thing people do when they want to get “warm” really quick. The problem is the quick consumption of alcohol not only goes through your supply (meaning you could run out) but it serves its purpose: people get drunk faster with shots. Since you’re the one throwing the party, you are liable just as much as the bartender serving. Now of course, when you hire a professional they will know when they need to cut someone off. But it’s better to not let it get there if you can avoid it.
The best way to do that is to ensure there is water and other non-alcoholic drinks available. You can even make it really cute with a lemonade bar in the summer, include different types of lemonade and garnishes. Maybe a collection of different flavored waters as an option. They’re even better when they are self-serve. It’s one less job to hire for (other than refilling) and those who don’t drink alcohol don’t have to wait in line.
Make sure to offer your guests coffee. Even if you don’t drink it It can be just table service (aka a pot on each table) or a fancy barista. It’s great at the end of the evening to get people to switch drink types. Lastly, make sure snacks are amply available throughout the evening. The more carbs and protein the better to “soak up the alcohol” too.
Limit Your Hours
Cocktail hour is obviously prime time for drinking, and once you open that dance floor the drinks should be flowing. But what about that time in between? Close the bar. People can grab a drink from the bar as they head to their seats and then they will be focused on their delicious meal and watching you two dance that they don’t need to get up for another drink. Unsure if that will make your guests unhappy, then purchase table wines. It’s a drink people tend to take slow and is more cost-effective.
No matter what, asking your guests to pay for their own drinks is not something I recommend. You would think it would make people drink less, but that’s not true at all. But again, it is certainly acceptable to limit the selections or adjust the timing. And yes, there are always exceptions to the rule, but 9 times out of 10, it doesn’t apply. There are certainly other options out there for offering your guests drinks without breaking the bank.
Along with a good meal, having a great bar setup goes a long way in making sure your guests really enjoy themselves. But making sure they do so responsibly is something you can help control with your choices, and it can help save you a few bucks along the way.
First thing I must say when tipping your wedding professional team, please remember that it is not a mandatory expense. Gratuities should only be given to those wedding professionals who have gone above and beyond their contracted duties. Small business owners should never be overlooked since their businesses are often run by just one person. Before dishing out gratuity, double-check your contracts. Some professionals will include it in their contract, and I wouldn’t want you double tipping. Also, keep in mind that this is a guide. There really is no set number in what you should tip. You tip what you want, and trust me, any tip a vendor gets will be a surprise.
Lastly, a review is the BEST tip you can give any vendor. So if you cannot tip monetarily, PLEASE remember to at least leave them a glowing review.
THE MYTH ABOUT NOT TIPPING OWNERS
It is not uncommon to read articles that tell you that IF the individual providing the service is also the owner of the company, you do not technically need to tip them. Here is my take on that:
If you were to go out to eat, you would not tip the owner of the restaurant, right? But if the owner was also the person taking your order, making sure you’re taken care of, bringing your food and topping off your drinks, then you would absolutely give them a tip.
It’s my opinion that it works the same for your wedding pros.
If you are using a DJ who is subcontracted to work for a company, you would tip the DJ, not the owner. But if the owner was also the DJ working with you throughout the process AND their playing some killer tunes on your wedding day and keeping all of your guests on the dance floor all night long, then it’s a great idea to pass along a tip to them.
How Much: $50 if you’re married by a judge, clerk or officiant. Clergy members, in general, don’t accept tips, so instead, make a donation to the appropriate house of worship.
MAITRE D’ OR VENUE COORDINATOR
Sometimes referred to as a “Captain” or banquet manager. This tip may already be included in your total agreement with the catering company and/or venue. Be sure to check first.
How Much: $1 – $2 per guest
SERVERS & WAIT STAFF
Look this over carefully PRIOR to the wedding day to avoid double-tipping or forgetting to give them a tip. It may already be included in your caterer or venue contract. If it is not clear whether a tip is provided or how many staff members there will be, ask your contact with that company. Also, keep in mind that a “service charge” is often different than a tip.
How Much: $15-30 per staff member
BARTENDER
You may wish to have a “tip jar” out on the bar where your guests can choose to tip their bartenders. I’m not a huge fan of this, but it’s a personal preference. Just remember if you do not wish to have a tip jar out, that you should then take care of a tip for the bartenders on your guests’ behalf (if it’s not included in your contract). Inform the bartenders of your intent to tip after the reception, and request that they refuse tips from guests.
How Much: 10-15% of the total pre-tax bar bill, which should be split among the bartenders. OR $40-$75 per bartender
DJ & EMCEES
How Much: 10%-15% of the cost of services up to $150
HAIR STYLISTS, MAKE-UP ARTISTS & OTHER BEAUTY TECHNICIANS
How Much: 15-20% of the cost of services
DRIVERS FOR LIMOS, SHUTTLES, BUSSES, TROLLEYS, ETC.
The total tip amount depends on the extent to which they are driving you and/or your guests. Are they just making a few trips, or are they working all day?
How Much: If it is not included in the contract, $50-100 per driver
VALETS, COAT CHECK OR BATHROOM ATTENDANTS
Display a sign stating that gratuities have been taken care of. The staff should also be instructed to refuse any tips offered by guests.
These pros will often be spending the most time with you throughout the day and it’s important to appreciate their hard work and attention to detail. If they will be having any assistants, you can also extend an optional tip to them.
How Much: 5% – 10% of the cost of services – $25-$50+ per assistant, depending on their level of involvement
HOW YOU SHOULD GIVE YOUR WEDDING TEAM THEIR TIPS
It’s most ideal to pass along your wedding vendor tips (and final payments if necessary) to your wedding planner/coordinator or to a trusted family member (like mom or dad). That way you won’t be worrying about getting it to them while you’re occupied with your big day. Make sure they are in sealed envelopes with the person’s name and/or role written on it so that there is no confusion.
The wedding cake. A staple of a wedding celebration and most people expect to see one. But today people need to throw their expectations out the window. Don’t get me wrong, about 80% of my couples opt for a wedding cake, but the other 20% have something different. From cupcakes to donuts to pies to cookies…..desserts at a wedding are now more of a reflection of the couple.
The first thing you need to do before you start shopping for your dessert is to decide what you want. This is because a lot of bakers can do many different types of desserts, but some only offer cakes, or cupcakes, or cookies, etc. So it is important to know the type of dessert you want so you don’t waste your or their time if they can’t make the type of dessert you’re looking for.
Then comes the fun part, the tastings. Dive right in here and try out a few different places. Reach out to them before you head out and make sure that they offer tastings and how they work.
Almost all places need you to give them advance notice. Some require an appointment, some send it home with you to do on your own, some have monthly events you have to sign up to attend. Keep in mind that some places do charge. You are picking up a product that they cannot get back and this is a very reasonable request. Some even take the cost of the tasting off of your final bill if you go with them.
Questions to Ask Your Baker
Most importantly, have a list of questions you want to ask. Here are a few examples of questions to ask before you schedule your tasting or while you are meeting with them.
What flavors and options do you offer?
What will the estimated price of our cake/desserts be?
What are your payment requirements? (aka deposit, final payment due, etc.)
Do you offer other desserts as well?
Do you offer cake/display stand rentals?
Do you offer organic, vegan, or gluten-free options?
How do we choose a design?
Will the cake be finished with buttercream or fondant?
Is there a delivery fee?
How far in advance will our cake be prepared?
If you don’t know what places to start talking to, give me a call. All of my couples receive a recommended vendors list that includes professionals I have personally worked with and love what they do.
This one topic right here only has one right answer, and that answer is the one that works best for you. I know, that’s not really an answer, but it’s 100% true. Look, as a wedding planner, I love when my couples rent their linens. In fact, it’s almost one of those things I want to require my couples to do. But I also know that not all budgets allow it and sometimes you HAVE to buy your linens. So let me show you the pros and cons of both options so that you can decide for yourself.
Saving money – let’s face it, buying your own linens is financially cheaper
You have the product in hand and know what you will be getting
Setting it up yourself will let you see everything laid out and know it is done how you want it done.
Many options to choose from because you can purchase from any company that sells linens.
Resell – once the wedding is over you can sell them to another couple getting married to recoup some of your money.
Cons:
Storage – they take up a lot of space, especially after you go through the list below.
Washing – every linen comes with a chemical on it that you HAVE to wash off before use. You can do it in your washer, about 3-4 linens per load or pay someone at anywhere between $5-15 per linen.
Ironing/Steaming – wrinkles, creases, you name it, you want them out as much as possible.
Transportation – you have to get them to the location, again, they take up A LOT of room. At the end of the night, they take up double the room as they are no longer folded.
Setting Up – you have to set the linens. This takes A LOT of time and it has to be done before anything else can be set.
Teardown – You have to tear down the linens at the end of a long night.
Washing (AGAIN) – After the wedding, you need to wash them again unless you plan on throwing them out. Again that is washing about 3-4 at a time or paying about $5-15 per linen to have them done.
Reselling – Finding someone that wants your linens isn’t as easy as it sounds. If they’re basic white, you have better odds. But if they are colored or patterned linen, it becomes harder and you sit on them for a lot longer. And not everyone needs the exact number you have, so you may have to split and sell in smaller sets and just hope that you sell them all.
Design help – almost all professionals that rent linens will help bring your look, feel and design together with their linens.
Other rentals – most companies that rent linens rent other items you may need for decor and so you can see it all put together and get it all from one place.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, ALL OF THE CONS ABOVE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH – AND TIME IS MONEY.
Cons:
Financially it costs more
Rising Ashes Designs L’Nique Linens
Julie Elizabeth Event Styling
Like I said before, I know that not everyone has the budget to rent linens, or finds that linens are not a priority in their wedding planning. And that’s ok. But if you are even debating between renting or buying your linens, I cannot stress it enough how much work is truly involved with linens. And as the wedding gets closer, your time will become more precious and you will not want to be dealing with all of your linens on your wedding day. So take it from a professional wedding planner, RENT!
[vc_empty_space height="6px"]